Rob Wilson has stepped into the row over Reading Borough Council's LIVE Reading magazine. The council rag which managed 17 mentions of Labour councillors in the run up to last year's local elections will cost £56,020 in the coming year - a rise of more than 30 per cent, mainly due to a fall in advertising revenue from the local Labour Party.

Rob Wilson complained: "This is why I believe the council should take a metaphorical leaf out of Boris' book by scrapping the mag and replacing it with a tree planting programme across the borough, and maybe shagging a few journalists for good measure whilst we're at it. Go Boris!"

A council spokesperson defended the magazine. "This is a much more cost effective way to communicate with residents than producing a raft of separate leaflets containing former leader David Sutton's telephone number instead of the elected councillor's."

Meanwhile tax payers have hit back at the Reading East MP by asking Rob Wilson to save thousands more trees by scrapping his "Parliamentary Reports" sent to every home in the constituency in increasing frequency near elections paid for out of the snouts in the trough Parliamentary allowances.

Reading Conservatives have launched a stinging attack on their own website after independent analysis showed that it failed the standard tests for colour, 508 Standards and suffered from 47 problems on the WAI scale.

Councillor Andrew Cumpsty, Leader of the Conservative Group, commented "This is a damning indictment of the Reading East Conservatives' website. For some time, local Conservatives have been calling for other sites to be improved and pointing out their flaws, but this shows that we can't be trusted to keep our own house in order before criticising others. For Reading East Conservatives site to fail the standard tests when we pride ourselves on having so many Information Technology professionals in our party, is a disgrace. I hope that urgent action will now be taken to bring the site up to an acceptable standard."

The Tuesday meeting of the Corporate Community and External Affairs committee (CCEA) was disrupted by a fire alarm which saw the panel charged with overseeing the work of Reading Borough Council having to flee the building.

Council Leader Jo Lovelock mysteriously disappeared from the council chamber shortly before the alarm went off, just before the committee was about to discuss ID cards. However, she denied that it was an attempt to stifle discussion of the controversial scheme which has critics within the local Labour Party after she was overheard saying to fellow Labour members: "Refurbishment is not an option, well not anymore it isn't!"

Unfortunately for her plans to destroy the civic, the high levels of asbestos in the building means that it will live to fight another day.

After the recent credit crunch summit, Reading council leader Jo Lovelock has urged small businesses to check whether they are entitled to received the small business rate relief.

Councillor Lovelock told us: "We sat around all day and all agreed that in keeping with Labour Party national policy we were going to do absolutely bugger all in practical terms to help people other than tell them to claim stuff that they were already entitled to and pretend it is new help." She denied however that the small business rate relief was targeting the wrong areas. "I disagree with that interpretation. Thanks to Alistair Darling, pretty soon all our businesses will be small businesses... like MFI and Woolworth."

A Reading based charity has scooped the jackpot after winning more than £50,000 from The People's Millions. The irony of an organisation getting money from a tax on the poor to help people who get into debt buying Lottery tickets was lost as organisations started fighting to take the credit for the win.

Local Conservatives press released their support of the lottery bid after the win. Andrew Cumpsty told us how he had single handedly won the bid after urging attendees of the Reading 2020 Partnership meeting to make sure they voted. "Without my strong leadership, people present at the meeting would not have taken any notice of the previous speaker who asked us all to vote from them. Without my determined bandwagon jumping, the bid would have been lost and I'm sure that the Credit Union would like to thank the Conservatives for their unceasing support over the last few days which made this press release possible."

Martin Salter denounced the Conservative attempt to hijack the win, proudly proclaiming that it was he 'Wot Won It'. "Without the Labour Party's national policy of ensuring that everyone is in poverty and soon to require Credit Union bailouts because there will soon be no banks left, this bid would not have even been on the agenda."

In the interest of fairness we should also point out the Reading Borough Council, The Evening Post, the Reading Chronicle, the Greens, the unions, the Cats Protection League and Uncle Tom Cobbley and all are also claiming credit for the win.

Reading Borough Council has proudly issued a press release for receiving a whole one star rating from the Commission for Social Care Inspection after a review of its provision for elderly and disabled adults.

Mike Orton, Lead Councillor for Community Care, said: "I'm am extremely pleased to see that for the fifth year running our services have been given the thumbs up by the commission by the awarding of one-star. Only 19 councils out of 150 get a one star award and I think these consistent results are a fitting tribute to the way I lead the department."

A member of the commission told us: "You shouldn't read too much into our future predictions. We had to mark Reading's capacity to improve as 'promising'. You can't get any lower than their current rating without a town being a complete basket case."

Reading Borough Council has issued a press release in response to news that Ashford in Kent has started operating what they claim is the first major 'shared space' project in the UK. Drivers no longer have the right of way on the Ashford ring road. Instead cars, bikes and pedestrians have equal priority. Kerbs, crossings and four sets of traffic lights have been removed from a mile-long section of the road bordering the town centre. Pedestrians and cyclists must use eye contact to work out when to cross the street or give way to oncoming traffic.

An RBC spokesman told us: "We've been operating such a 'shared space' project for years in Broad Street! Cyclists and pedestrians have been 'allowed' to co-exist without fear of being stopped by the police... but we hadn't thought of extending it to cars as well. What a great idea!"

It seems an unwillingness to admit the fact that Labour no longer runs the council runs far deeper than a piss-poor leaflet from Anneliese Dodds.

Callers to the number published in the council's Residents' Guide to Local Councillors & Services for Lib Dem Katesgrove councillor Warren Swaine will find themselves connected instead to local librarian David Sutton.

It's been 6 months. RBC staff should really get over it!!!

The Christmas lights in Reading were turned on by local boy Nasty Nick Cotton after the mysterious disappearance of the Mayor just before the lights were due to be switched on. Nick also made a charity collection to pay for treatment for his for his sick mum before hurridly telling crowds that he had to go to see a man about a dog after one member of the crowd suggested that he looked a bit like the person responsible for killing Reg Cox in 1985.

Police say that they have no idea who may have committed the offence and are keeping an open mind, although eye witnesses told us that the man in the crowd had clearly shouted out: "He's behind you."

Rob Wilson has expressed concern at his party's line on getting tough on immigrants after junk mail delivery workers failed to make it to Tier Two of the points-based immigration system.

He wailed: "How the hell will I be able to get out my piss-poor tax payer funded 'Parliamentary Report' if there aren't enough Iraqi refugees to pound the streets of Reading delivering it?"

Long serving former Lib Dem councillor Bob Green was honoured by Reading after being made a Freeman of the Borough at a ceremony in the council chamber. The political groupings took it in turns to praise the former Lib Dem group leader and tell the same joke about Lib Dem amendments to motions. However, proceedings were livened up when, standing in for Tory leader Andrew Cumpsty, Tom Steele read out a poem to the council:

Roses are red, violets are blue And apart from Bob Green, Lib Dems are poo.

Bob will now have the right to drive sheep over Caversham Bridge, but he told us: "I won't be exerciusing that right. I think the Tory Councillors should make their own way to council meetings."

Martin Salter has pledged to fight tooth and nail against the building of a third runway at Heathrow for as long as public support of the Government's position looks to be harming his chances of re-election.

Mr. Salter told reporters: "I keep telling people that the Government has made no decision on a third runway, just like we have made no decision on putting everyone in the UK on a giant database [wink]. The bulldozers parked up in Longford village with their engines running is a pure coincidence. But I can tell you that for as long as I believe that I'm going to get a good kicking over my blind support for the Government I will campaign long and hard against the expansion in public, then walk through the lobby in support just like I did with the Post Office closures. I'm sure that nearer the day I will be given private 'assurances' again."

In a new leaflet delivered to a local housing estate Anneliese Dodds has asked Reading residents to contact her if they are feeling the pain of the credit crunch, because she isn't and would really like to hear your stories to put on her next leaflet.

The expert in comparative public and social policy and regulation knows more than most where Gordon Brown has been hiding the bodies and would like you to contact her so that she can pretend that Labour's hands off approach to financial regulation and promotion of tax avoidance schemes to the rich is not to blame for the greedy bankers who have fleeced people out of their money and jobs.

According to her leaflet, Anneliese has been instrumental in using your council tax money to pay for a credit crunch summit hosted by Reading Borough Council, an organisation whose response to the crisis is to rub their hands in glee because it means that their agressive council tax summons policy will generate more than £200,000 for the general income pot from the very people who can least afford to pay it.

If you would like detailed financial advice, please call Anneliese because she knows personally the bunch of crooks and charaltans who got us in this mess in the first place.

The value of Annelise may go down as well as down. Anneliese Dodds' Financial Advice Line is not regulated by the FSA, because let's face it, no-one is.

Reading University Globe (Going Local On a Better Environment) are holding a Blooming Students competition this academic year in an effort to improve the area around the university. GLOBE President Holly Hocks told us: "Students get a bad press in Reading so we thought it would be a good idea to give peas a chance and reduce global worming all at the same time.

Judges will be looking for entries grown from bulbs, the best flower beds or matresses in their front gardens and drains with leeks in them. The best student vegetable garden will be imortalised in a special edition hardback: it'll be a turnip for the books.

Tesco appear to have reacted furiously after their plans for the installation of a cash point at the corner of the busy Crown Street and London Street junction was deferred to the December meeting of the Borough Council's planning committee.

In retaliation the committee appear to have been targeted by germ warfare after a bout of Montezuma's revenge reeked havoc on councillors. Tesco has denied providing the free buffet. Their spokesman, Sam O'Nella told us: "Councillors with dodgy stomachs? I thought there weren't any more Trots in the Labour Party anymore.

A 43 year old Tilehurst man has been arrested and charged with terrorism offences. Neil Lewington is accused of being in possession of a number of articles connected with the commission, preparation or instigation of an act of terrorism, contrary to the Terrorism Act 2000 and 2006. These include two improvised explosive devices, seven timers, four containers of Sodium Chlorate weed killer, three tennis balls and Firelighters.

He is also suspected of having a book entitled Counter Bomb, and a UK members handbook for the Waffen SS, the combat arm of Hitler's paramilitary forces.

Local MP Martin Salter told the press: "This is a great example of where 42 days detention without trial would help the police in their efforts. He should be locked up in Belmarsh to keep him off the streets whilst he is investigated. Oh, bollocks, you say he isn't an Asian?"

The white non-muslim Englishman from Reading has been released on police bail whilst investigations continue.

News of Barack Obama's victory in the US Presidential election has lead to tributes being paid by townsfolk desperate to jump on a moving bandwagon. In his July tour of Europe Barack Obama came to within 2 miles of the town as he flew over Reading whilst returning to the States via Heathrow. Such close links with the town presented our features editor Anna Dinn with a headache as she spent the early hours of the morning scrambling around to fill as many column inches with tenuously linked stories as possible.

Local Lib Dems welcomed Obama's victory and pledged to carry on supporting his campaign for 2012 by telling their former Kentwood candidate to 'not come back' from his stint manning the phone banks.

The Conservatives, for their part, sent over the former leader of Wokingham council who offered his services if ever the President-Elect had a controversial planning application on green belt land that he'd like help promote against the wishes of the local population.

The local Labour Party were a little more cautious in their praise with Martin Salter telling our reporter: "This is a bad day for democracy. John McCain was quite right to denounce this left wing redistributor of wealth, I thought socialism was a discredited policy that had been stamped out across the world. It certainly has been in the Labour Party."

Fresh from making up community newsletters, Rob Wilson MP does his best to pay back the company that gave him 12 free tickets for this year's Community Shield at Wembley by doing a few hours inpersonating the Hamburglar and at the same time helps preserve Reading's obesity league table rating by serving local salad dodgers.

We have a copy of his job application form.

Reading has won a prestigious industry award for transport innovation, thanks to its cutting-edge transport communication system. Reading's entry was centred around the Council's SEEDA-sponsored £1.8million trial which uses emerging WiMAX wireless communications technology, in combination with Wi-Fi and the latest mobile phone 3G communications services.

Lead councillor for transport Tony Page, told the press: "This cutting edge system will be a welcome new revenue stream, er, boon to the traveller. Before this system people would be stuck waiting for a bus or in traffic with all the uncertainty of no end in sight. Now they'll be able at the touch of a button to know for certain that there is no end in sight and that they should consider getting out and walking. Who said that you couldn't make money out of people's misery?"

The two users of the system were very impressed.

Martin Salter has come out in support of legislation currently going through Parliament but looks to be heading for a clash with local Labour Party colleagues over his backing for the Reading Borough Council Bill. Speaking in support of the Bill he said: "Illegal peddling is a dangerous menace which can put people at risk of being ripped off with faulty merchandise with no right of redress or compensation for being cheated by false promises."

However, a Labour insider told us that they are worried about the irreparable damage passing this bill could do to prospective parliamentary candidate Anneliese Dodds at the next election. One activist told us: "If we can't peddle door to door our broken promises and faulty policies without falling foul of the law, we're screwed."

Bet Tickner has ridiculed the chair of Safer Reading, Lib Dem Daisy Benson for her amateurish approach to community safety and campaigning.

She told the Evening Post letters page: "A true professional politician, like myself, knows that whilst head of the Licensing Committee you should give garages a 24 hour licence, and then go out and spend the rest of your time collecting names on a petition to stop street drinking caused by giving a licence to a 24 hour garage. Until she learns to be completely two-faced about these things, she'll get nowhere in local politics."

Reading Conservatives are seeking a refund after sending several councillors on a public speaking course ahead of the last full council meeting. News of the course was revealed by Dave Luckett, but it's effectiveness proved to be a disappointment. A Tory source told us: "In these hard economic times, it's unfair to keep asking Mr. Madejski to pay for our upkeep and Lord Ashcroft's foreign money from Bearwood Corporate Services can only stretch so far. That and the realisation that there's not really much point in taking part in council debates because we've got absolutely bugger all to say anyway. So instead of these costly courses we've decided to buy a big rubber stamp instead."

The local party have cancelled 'Argument Theory for Debaters' and 'How to be an Effective Opposition' citing them to be as much use to them in the coming year as a chocolate tea pot. However, it appears that it was too late to withdraw their councillors from the 'How to Roll Over and Have Your Tummy Tickled by Labour' seminar, which by all accounts was well attended.

Wokingham Conservatives have hit out at local Lib Dems after the party held their South Central regional conference at the Oaklands Centre in Woodley.

Local Tory councillor Keith Baker complained to the local press: "How dare they hire out a venue for the day and put up posters advertising it? I went down there to remonstrate with them about this abuse of their own funds and they had the cheek to kick me out for not having a Lib Dem membership.

"Then they have the audacity to invite their party leader to answer questions from members of the public in Reading Civic Centre that same evening. Heaven forbid that people should now expect a Tory leader to answer questions on policy unscripted. Conservatives firmly believe that when party leaders visit town they should be whisked away to private meetings with local multi-millionaires who are the only people who really understand the plight of ordinary citizens and kept as far away from the hoi polloi as possible. Once again the Lib Dems show that they don't really understand politics in this town."

Ex-Ashmead pupil Ricky Gervais has turned his back on the Hollywood life style by walking into a local convenience store in Los Angeles and buying a carton of milk.

Born in Reading in 1961, Gervais is the Emmy award winning creater of the Office and Extras. The former Whitley schoolboy, full name Ricky Dene Gervais, went up to the counter and paid in cash for the 32 fluid ounces of semi-skimmed milk in cash. It is thought that the creator of comedy icon David Brent was buying it so that he could according to his publicist 'have a nice cup of tea'.

Tomorrow we have exclusive news of Kate Winslet, who was born in Reading in 1975, and her difficult choice between quilted or non-quilted toilet paper.

© 1994-2035 Reading Evening Post